Taking Space - Guilt Free
The past few months have been difficult at times.
As I finish out my final year of college and strive for a grade to be proud of, I have struggled with balancing my schedule.
My life seemed to shift from growing a brand, enjoying my hobbies, nurturing relationships, embracing a healthy and active lifestyle, and following my passions to now centre around study, deadlines, and exam schedules.
I will be honest, for a while I tried to balance it all, but it wasn’t long before I realised something had to give… and in my experience it’s usually my mental health that is the first to be affected.
So, I made the decision to take some space. Press pause on some things to give myself space to focus on the things of most importance which have been my studies and my wellbeing.
It wasn’t easy at the start. Pressing pause on my hobbies meant moving the garden from its position of priority.
Spending more time at the library and sacrificing family dinners most evenings.
Spending weekends resting and recharging my body rather than much loved quality time with my friends.
Making this adjustment in my life surfaced feelings of fear and worry. Worry that I would be letting others down by not spending time together. Fear that things would fall apart if I put them on hold.
But as time has passed and I have continued to take the space I need I have learned one very important thing.
The things that consist of love can withstand space.
Things don’t just fade away because you’re temporarily putting your energy into another activity.
My relationships with friends and family are stronger than ever. We check in to remind one another we’re still here but taking the space I need doesn’t mean the relationship is any less than when we see one another often.
In terms of the garden, nature waits for nobody, but my garden is still right where I left it, outside the window.
Mum and the rest of the gang have pulled out all the stops and kept things in check, working tirelessly to stay on top of the maintenance. That being said some of the jobs have been put on hold as I took time to finish my studies.
The rose garden was one of those tasks. Usually, I would do some hard pruning in the spring but this year it has had to be postponed to a later date. The thing is, even as I would walk past the garden and notice the undone work, taking this time has allowed me to shift my perspective.
From where I would have before focused on the unfinished task to now being able to overlook the negative and highlight the beauty of the present. Yes, there may be weeds but there are also flowers so which I choose to give my focus on is my decision.
Even in terms of the Flower Child brand itself. Taking a step back for a number of weeks was terrifying. The thoughts of “What if this time causes the failure of the brand?” or “What if I am letting people down?” all entered my mind. But like I said, if it involves love it can withstand space. And Flower Child is something born from pure love and passion for me. Every product is a little part of my heart, and every post is a piece of my soul. So, although taking a break from nurturing it was scary it was the best thing I could have done because it gave me the time, I needed to focus on something important and the ability to then resume in a better state than before.
Not only were people understanding when I communicated my needs, but I was blown away by the genuine support I received in helping me achieve my goals.
In life I strive to surround myself with things and people that give me energy rather than cost it, and one thing I’ve learned is that when you temporarily step back from these things they don’t just disappear. They will still be there, just how you left them when you return.
So now I’m back, back to enjoying my passions, celebrating my relationships, working towards my goals.
Moving forward with an amazing lesson learned that it’s okay to take the space you need and step back allowing yourself time to focus on what’s truly important to you.
Remember this, you are not a bad person for making temporary sacrifices to meet your own needs!
For more mental health related posts you can check these out!